[Wednesday< ] [ mood | happy ] Today was the last day of FCAT testing for freshmen year :) And so to celebrate I left early and went to TJ's with some people. Tomorrow's the last day of the 3rd quarter, and my mom's going out of town this weekend. I'm going to make sure I'm never home alone with Thomas for more than 3 hours. That'd be unbearable. But in celebration of only 9 weeks left of school I'm going to make sure this 3-day weekend is amazing :) Life is sweeeet. ♥ READ (11) POST

ROOT CANAL'S OVER [Saturday< ] [ mood | sore ] I was considering posting a picture of the swelling for you guys to see, but then I decided not to give you that much pleasure. It's disgusting. Really, it is. I resemble Johnny Bravo except I can't smile. I've never felt so restricted with the size of my mouth. :) Ewww, I look so ugly. The swelling will take 2-4 days to go down. TWO to FOUR DAYS!!!!! Ugh. Mom says if it's not down a significant amount by Monday, I don't have to go to school. I don't want that kind of attention (I look disgusting.. Have I said that already). And I'm really emotional right now, so it wouldn't help anything. Now I'm going to attempt to eat. Wish me luck because if I don't do well I'm stuck eating yogurt and smoothies for the next 4 days. :P I'm going to cry... :( ♥ READ (10) POST

[Tuesday< ] So guys... The journal's officially locked. Sorry Dad, guess you can't read it anymore :P Comment to be added, And if you aren't a member but enjoy reading them, join. It's free and it's not like you have to do anything. ♥ READ (27) POST

[Tuesday< ] [ mood | satisfied ] THE BIGGEST FRIENDS CUT EVER! ( here ) READ (15) POST

[Saturday< ] [ mood | Hoorah! ] Duuuude! It's New Year's Eve : ) Like whaaaaat?! Ahhhh, Excitement. A little New Year's Eve song for you all - Starting now I will never see my kitchen counter quite the same babe, after we drank the final hour I never knew you had it somewhere deep inside you, another chance to go wild You whispered to me, I'd be stupid not to follow Where you'd be taking me tonight until tomorrow I make predictions from the gifts my dreams have given And never once have they lied So, don't you worry who you're kissin on at midnight The way I see it I've got you and I both covered The world's to bed and you and I instead Will secretly enjoy our time So kiss on me tonight The day awaits too long away when I'll be older That holds the time to put in action what I told her If I were perfect then there'd be no room for asking to Fill this place by my side So, don't you worry who you're kissin on at midnight The way I see it I've got you and I both covered The world's to bed and you and I instead Will secretly enjoy our time See I'm not worried who you're hittin on at midnight The way I see it I've got you and I both covered The world's to bed and you and I instead Will secretly enjoy our time So kiss on me tonight Don't you worry it's time to ask yourself But I'll be fine I'll be fine I'll be fine If you want to kiss someone else I've got time I've got time I'll be fine Now don't you worry who you're kissin on at midnight The way I see it I've got you and I both covered The world's to bed and you and I instead Will secretly enjoy our time Now don't you worry who you're kissin on at midnight The way I see it I've got you and I both covered The world's to bed and you and I instead Will secretly enjoy our time Kiss on me tonight, kiss on me tonight Kiss on kiss on kiss on me tonight -Kiss On Me- Tyler Hilton [EDIT] Today's Horoscope  Dear Natalie, It really wouldn't be a great idea to think about cutting loose and having a little fun right now. It should be a much better time to just focus on clearing up any lingering or unresolved issues that may have been bothering you lately. There will probably be a number of things that'll require your attention right now, and you shouldn't ignore any important matters that really need to be dealt with. Well screw you, forecast! It's New Years Eve, bitch![/EDIT] READ (6) POST

[Wednesday< ] [ mood | Hopeful ] ( UP IN HERE ) READ (9) POST

[Sunday< ] Merry Christmas everyone :) I hope everything's going well for everyone today and that Santa treated everyone extra special (Yes, I still believe in the old man). I really don't enjoy including Christmas presents in an update, but I figure everyone will probably ask anyways, so I might as well just put it in here... - ivory HCO sweater - Ready fragrance by A&F - a bracelet and necklace - Million Dollar Baby, Phantom of the Opera, Spanglish, Spiderman 2 , and Garden State DVDs - Natasha Bedingfield, Kelly Clarkson, and Rascal Flatts CDs - $40 to AE and $40 to HCO - $20 to Gadzooks - $100 to use towards an iPod or shopping - and a random 5 pairs of socks (?) and lipgloss that I was told I'm not allowed to "share." I suppose I'm now the family slut. Haha. Whatever. My Christmas with my mom was last week, and I don't feel like updating on everything I got there. It feels like so long ago... I agree with everyone when they say this year is flying past. It's insane. So the one thing on my personal Christmas list that I have yet to receive... A phone call from him. I just want to see his face, or know that everything's okay between us. But I don't know if I will get that this year. I still have another week of wishing left. I just wish I hadn't messed everything up. :) I love you all! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! ♥ READ (20) POST

"That was deep" [Friday< ] [ mood | Upset with myself ] I don't want all of you thinking of him as jerk. I really, really don't. He's not. How could he be? He blessed me with the three most amazing weeks of my summer... Of my teenage years. He was the biggest sweetheart to me for those three weeks and I couldn't have asked for much more from him. And yet, here I am, bashing him on my LJ over and over again, making myself look horrible and wretched. You guys, as my friends, are saying the things you're supposed to say to make me feel better, but it's not working because none of you are right in the things you say about him. I'm realizing I'm the bad person in this situation. I should be acting so much more mature about all of this, so much more put together. I'm torn inside, and it's my fault. Not his. So, I owe you an apology Andrew. I'm sorry. Probably more sorry than you'll ever know. I'm sorry for dragging all of this out for the past 5 months, and I'm sorry for not telling you the truth, the whole truth, when I should have. I'm sorry for calling her an "8th grade whore." I was saying it out of jealousy, anger and hurt, which still doesn't make it any better. And I owe you all THE TRUTH: -- I fell in a deep, deep like with Andrew James Taylor this summer. -- He made me feel amazing for the 3 weeks I was with him. -- There was not one moment in time over the past 5 months when I stopped caring for him, no matter what I said. -- I have blown this thing way out of proportion, and I honestly should not have brought any of you into it. -- I want you all to think of Andrew as you used to when I told you about him over the summer, and erase all memories of things I've said to you in the last 5 months from your minds. -- I came to Brandon having no intention of doing anything but possibly rekindling old feelings for him. -- I'm crying right now : ) -- I'm an idiot for making you all feel so sorry for me when I'm the one who caused all of this. -- I've been putting a face on for the past 5 months. -- I miss him like hell. -- He's an good amazing guy. -- She's a lucky girl. -- And I'm still in that deep, deep like. YOU WERE IT, KID. <3 READ (20) POST

[Friday< ] Name 5 of life's simple pleasures that you like most, then pick 5 people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used. -cars -movies -lust -family -pajamas tag- swope sawa lauren tay nat GO AND READ THE ENTRY BELOW- I WON'T BE UPDATING FOR AWHILE. READ (11) POST

[Friday< ] [ mood | irritated ] AND IF YOU'RE READING THIS: I just want you to know how much of an ass you can be sometimes. You can come across as arrogant and conceited and people tell me to blow you off and think nothing of it. They tell me to have nothing to do with you, and I say okay, but secretly I know that's impossible. You nearly begged for me to take you back this winter break, said you'd be jealous if you saw me doing anything with the other guy. Told me you missed me and holding me, etc. I asked you if it was me you missed or just the thought and feeling. You clearly expressed that it was me. How much of your bullshit do I have to take? I was beginning to think... Maybe he's changing. Maybe he's not so bad after all, and here you come to prove me wrong. It wasn't me you were missing, it was the feeling and now you have it again. So congratulations and have fun with your skinny 8th grade whore. : ) Don't attempt to come crawling back to me ever again, because you're just going to get a mouthful of shit in your face. And don't IM me after reading this and say, "What was all that about?" Jesus, I think it's just time you and I had a talk. And none of this online shit. I want one face to face. So when you read this, call me up. And let's meet and talk. We both know it's well overdue. PEACE OUT. READ (19) POST

[Wednesday< ] [ mood | Happy ] I got my hair cut :) South Dakota = Tomorrow! My excitement is endless right now. I'm going to go to sleep so that tomorrow comes faster ♥ READ (23) POST

[Tuesday< ] [ mood | Neutral ] I've been in Omaha for 18 hours now... Hmph! Going shopping with Dad during today. Partly for Christmas presents, partly for myself :) Tomorrow night we're going to go see a play similar to The Christmas Story, and South Dakota is Thursday. That's what excites me the most. But I gotta go get ready for the day. I'm still in my black leggings, cheer shorts and FMHS football tshirt (represent!) aka my pajamas. ♥ READ (4) POST

[Friday< ] [ mood | Excited! :D ] HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! Midterms are over =) It's my last weekend in town before I leave for 15 days to the frigid north. No worries though, I'll still be on MySpace and AIM occasionally, and I'll update on all of the important stuff so that you can guys know what's going on in my life. To Barkha - Have fun in India. I'm going to miss you immensely, but I know that you are probably make the right decision because this is what you're heart is telling you to do. You can call me anytime if you need to talk (you know the number) and I want you to know that you can always come back. You'll have fun at Canterbury meeting new people and making new friends, but don't forget about our huge birthday dinner in January. Have fun in India over winter break, and tell me all about it when you get home. I love you, darling! To the rest of you - Have a safe and happy break. Make the best of all of this time off. ♥ READ (9) POST

[Thursday< ] [ mood | Tired ] This week has been going fairly well, aside from taking mid-terms (some of which I don't have a good feeling about). Only two more to go, though! I have to take Spanish and Math tomorrow. Both I have to study for, but I'm not worried about either of them, and then I'm done! until January 3rd. Gone to Nebraska and South Dakota :) Gosh, I'm so fucking excited! Saturday night I'm hanging out with Swope and Rachie (Yes!) and then Sunday night it's Swope and the gang and the moms. Monday morning I'm departing, so if you want to see me or something (for whatever reason) before I leave, maybe we can figure something out. ( I can't believe this week is almost over... ) Nothing too depressing to write about... Although I feel as though I'm going through something Jessi's going through right now -- I'm missing my best friend. We were best friends right away in kindergarten. She's away in Wyoming right now, and I haven't talked to her in almost a year. It was her birthday Sunday, and when I tried to call her no one was home. Then I found a picture of her and her new friends on one of their MySpaces. I miss this girl like the shit... READ (6) POST

[Monday< ] This weekend was the perfect weekend to have right before mid-terms. In Kelsey's words it was "just chill and relaxed." So although I was out almost the whole weekend, it was casual. I got almost next-to-no studying done, but I'm not as worried about mid-terms as I was before. I'm more excited for winter break than anything. I leave Monday =) This week is already off to a great start. I don't know why, but I just have a really good feeling about the next 4 days. Although I probably just jinxed that (knock on wood). Ahh, well. I'm ready to just party it up for the next 2 1/2 weeks in South Dakota. Haha... Trust me, it's very possible. I just want to thank Kelsey & Tony for seeming interested in what's going on with my life. I love you both already, and I can't wait to become better friends with you, Ton! Before I forget... Happy Birthday TJ! ♥ READ (11) POST

[Friday< ] [ mood | feeling stupid ] Yeah, so I've decided that all of you can kiss my ass =) If you ever have a problem with me, if you ever want to talk shit about me, if you ever want to make up rumors about me... Basically if you ever want to bring any drama to my life, kiss my ass. Because I already have enough, thanks, and I don't need your petty high school crap added to that mess. By the way... Those of you who think you know me... Yeah, you don't. Trust me. Maybe, maybe 3 people know me for real. And some kind of do. But seriously. You all are like "OMGsh Natalie wouldn't do that!" And then when I do you act really surprised. Well don't make assumptions, and don't think I've changed. Because jumping to conclusions and assuming the wrong doesn't get you anywhere. And I haven't changed, you just never took the time or took the initiative to get to know who I really am. ♥ READ (13) POST

[Monday< ] [ mood | puzzled ] So how about an update in the world of Natalie? Andrew IMed me last night.... He wants me back apparently (or something). I was (and still am) in a total state of shock and confusion. Everyone tells me I'm too good for him, he doesn't deserve me, etc., but he's the first one I've ever cared so much for. Possibly the first boy I've ever loved. But he's not giving me straight-forward answers on anything. He's not telling me how he feels, and none of what he's saying feels real or sincere, which makes me think that he's just lonely, even if he says that's not the case. I don't want to take him back because I don't want to get hurt again. I don't even know if he's the same boy I fell for only 5 months ago. But no matter how much time passes or what happens between him and I, I will never stop caring for him. Because he made me feel important, loved, and secure with myself for those 3 short weeks. My mom wants to move. Not far, but somewhere else. We don't know if we'll be able to do the addition to our house like we were planning (thanks to some stupid county property rules) so she's looking at houses around Fort Myers as we speak. Some are nice, but somewhat far away, and I really like the location I'm in. Childish and stubborn, I know, but I love Whiskey Creek. It's close to school, church, Eddie, Josh, Patrick & Kelsey. It's close to everyone and it's such a nice neighborhood. I wouldn't mind so much moving a little ways away (say in biking distance of my current house), but I'd be afraid of growing farther from people. Wow! I sound stupid. It's also that whole... I've lived in 12+ houses since I was born thing, and I'm just kind of sick of packing. My Grandma (on my mom's side) was hospitalized this morning. She was walking out of her doctor's appointment when she fell, and she hit her head on a car tire, falling unconcious. That put her on a breathalizer (sp?) and rushed her to the ER. She just started talking about an hour ago, and they're going to move her to a regular room in the hospital tomorrow. She's doing okay, but for those of you who pray, please keep her in your prayers. I'm gone in 2 weeks. I'm going to miss a lot of people over break, but I just need to get away from this town and all the baggage that comes with it. And I have opened anonymous commenting because I know there are people out there who read this, but don't tell me or don't comment about it. So feel free to post anonymously or sign your name, but please leave a comment. Leave advice, leave a note, leave lyrics, leave a personal problem that you want my help on. Leave a smiley face, leave a heart, but just leave something and let me know you care. ♥ READ (17) POST

[Sunday< ] [ mood | =) ] Life is fxcking confusing. Things happen at weird times, for weird reasons that no one can explain. Which stinks because I always need explanations. All I know right now is that I LOVE: Kelsey Maragaret Swope Haley Ann Olsen Timothy Joel Polzin You three mean the world to me! <333 READ (4) POST

[Sunday< ] [ mood | satisfied ] So I thought the 99XMAS BALL was amazing. Until I heard about Danielle's friend Krissy. But I still had fun. I missed almost all of 30 Seconds to Mars because of traffic, but the lead singer autographed my Converse =) Yay! And I didn't really get to hang out/see Swope or Tony. And I love them both, so that made a downer in my night. But it was still fun. Especially the part where I came home smelling like weed and alcohol (and onions?) and my mom asked me if anything "icky" was going on around me. Hahaha. Wow. Tonight was catillion/John Seckondgers (sp?) party. John's party was fun for the 30 minutes that we were there. Next year with the new freshman is going to be hilarious. And then catillion was okay. Got there at 8:30, it got good at 9, and we left at 9:50. Which was a good time because Nick, Jen, Alison & Caroline were leaving, too. And so now Swope & Haley are at my house. Swope passed out on the bed and Haley's on the couch next to me. So I'm going to go! I'm soooooo excited for Christmas break! 12 days, guys! =) ♥ READ (11) POST

[Monday< ] [ mood | independent ] So I've come to the conclusion... IF HE DOESN'T CARE, WHY SHOULD I!?!? Watch out all you South Dakota bitches -- I'm coming in a month! BTW... I love my friends. ♥ READ (10) POST

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